Tōtaranui reprise
In June this year, I spoke with a friend, Roger, about once again celebrating his birthday at Tōtaranui, 10 years after a group of about 24 people had gathered for his 60th.
It had been a revelation for me, having lived in Australia for a couple of decades, where people I met were primarily transactional. I had little to offer locals with school friends and relatives to take up their social lives.
And, of course, even more than ten years ago, small screens transfixed everyone.
Here in New Zealand, the attitude was different. No interest in staring at phones.
We were in the Here and Now and congregated doing what we most wanted to do – catching up with best friends.
I knew Roger and his brother well back then, but I didn’t know his partner and was having my first meeting with most others.
The atmosphere had been joyful and generous. People brought beautiful sourdough bread, salads from their gardens, several buckets of red and white roses, cuts of venison and wild pork, bottles of wine or homebrew, etc.
This weekend was a similar congregation with now familiar faces, albeit with two absences.
The oldest guy had passed away, and surprisingly, so had Roger.
Ten years later, we were somewhat subdued, but one of Roger‘s two daughters had her husband and two boys, which was a generational replacement.
This time, I didn’t contribute much in the way of alcohol as before and instead printed out 20 photos of the last grouping. Roger‘s daughter accepted some, as did others.
The physical pieces of thick photographic paper were a tangible reminder of our lives, friendships, and the passage of time.
We had some one-on-one discussion of Roger‘s circumstances, but it was mostly another Here And Now celebration, as much for those present.
Another ten years seems a long time in the future, but not so far in the past.
I’m privileged to have such a fine bunch of friends.